Andrew
Greeley attributes this story to a Cherokee princess named Gail Ross.15
Once upon a time, long, long
ago, there was Earth Maker and First Man and First Woman. They lived in a
whitewashed stone cottage on the edge of a green field with a silver lake
and a road leaving over the hills and out beyond. First Man and First
Woman were very much in love and very happy together. Earth Maker was
pleased with himself because it appeared this his experiment of creating
male and female had been a huge success. Oh, they argued a few times a
week, but never anything serious.
Then one day they had a
terrible fight. They forgot what they were fighting about and fought about
who had started it and then about what the fight was about.
Finally First Woman was fed up.
"You’re nothing but a loudmouth braggart!" she said, and stormed out of
the cottage and across the green field and by the silver lake and over the
hill and out beyond.
First Man sat back in his
rocking chair, lit his pipe and sighed happily. "Well," he said, "at last
we’ll have some peace and quiet around here. The woman has a terrible
mouth on her."
But as the sun set and turned
the silver lake rose gold, he realized he was hungry. "Woman," he shouted,
"I want my tea." But there was no woman to make the tea. Poor First Man
could not even boil water. So he had to be content with half of a cold
potato. Then as a chill came over the cottage and First Man felt lonely
altogether, he sighed again, let his pipe go out and felt he needed a good
night’s sleep. He didn’t light the fire because, truth to tell, he wasn’t
very good at such things. First Woman did all the fire lighting in their
house because she could start fires in a second.
The poor fella shivered
something awful when he pulled the covers over himself. "Well," he told
himself, "she did keep the bed warm at night." He didn’t sleep very well
and when he woke there was a terrible hunger on him. "Woman," he shouted,
"I want my tea!" Then he realized that there was no woman and no tea. So
he had to be satisfied with the other half of the cold potato.
Well, he was sitting in front
of the cold fireplace, puffing on a cold pipe, wrapped in a thin blanket,
when Earth Maker appeared.
"Let me see now," said Earth
Maker. "This is earth and I made ye male and female. And you’re the male.
Where’s herself?"
"She’s gone, your reverence."
"Gone?"
"Gone!"
"Why’s she gone?"
"We had a fight."
"You never did."
"We did!"
"And she left you?"
"She did, your reverence."
"You’re a pair of eejits!"
"Yes, your reverence."
"Do you still love her?"
"Oh yes, your reverence,
something terrible!"
"Well then, man, off your
rocking chair and after her!"
"She’s long gone, your
reverence. I’ll never catch up with her."
"No problem. I can move as fast
as thought. I’ll go ahead of you and slow her down! Now get a move on!"
Poor First Man, his heart
breaking, trundled out of his chair and down the path across the green
field and by the silver lake and out beyond.
Meanwhile Earth Maker caught up
with First Woman. She was still furious at First Man. She walked down the
road at top speed, muttering to herself as she went.
"The woman has a temper," Earth
Maker reflected. "But that fella would make anyone lose their temper."
So to slow her down, he said
"ZAP" and created a forest. Didn’t she cut through it like a warm knife
cutting through butter?
Then Earth Maker said "ZAP"
again and created a big hill. Didn’t she charge over the hill like a
mountain goat?
So "ZAP" Earth Maker created a
big lake. "That’ll stop her," he said to himself.
It didn’t stop her at all, at
all. She charged into the lake and swam across it, Australian Crawl.
I don’t know where she learned
the stroke because Australia didn’t exist way back then. But she knew it.
"Och," said Earth Maker, "there
are problems in creating women athletes, aren’t there now? Well, the poor
thing is hungry, so she’ll slow down to eat. "ZAP." There appeared along
the road all kinds of fruit trees—peach trees, plum trees, grapefruit
trees, apricot trees (no apple trees because that’s another story).
What did First Woman do? Well,
she just picked the fruit as she was walking and didn’t slow down a bit.
"Sure," said Earth Maker,
"won’t I have to fall back on me ultimate weapon. I’ll have to create
strawberries."
"ZAP"
First Woman stopped cold. "Ah,
would you look at them pretty bushes with the white flowers."
As she watched didn’t the
flowers turn into rich red fruit.
"Ah now, isn’t that gorgeous
fruit and itself shaped just like the human heart."
Se felt the first strawberry.
"Sure, doesn’t it feel just like the human heart, soft and yet strong and
firm. I wonder what it tastes like? Sure, doesn’t it have the sweetest
taste in all the world, save for the taste of human love."
"Well," she sighed loudly,
"speaking of that subject, I suppose the eejit is chasing after me, poor
dear man. I’d better wait for him."
So didn’t she pick a whole
apron full of strawberries and sit by the strawberry bush and wait for
First Man.
And finally, he came down the
road, huffing and puffing and all worn–out.
"This is called the strawberry
bush," she said, pointing at the bush. "And doesn’t the fruit taste
wonderful." So she gave a piece of fruit to First Man, like the priest
gives the Eucharist.
"Oh," says First Man, "isn’t it
the sweetest taste in all the world, save for the taste of human love. So
they picked more strawberries and, arm in arm, walked home to their
whitewashed cottage by the green field and the silver lake and the hill
and out beyond. ‘Tis said that they lived happily ever after, which meant
only three or so fights a week.
Now I want all of you to
remember every time from now on when you taste a strawberry, that the only
thing sweeter is the taste of human love. And remember too that love is
about catching up and waiting and true lovers know how to catch up and
wait.